Six not-entirely-serious candidates to replace Bob Diamond at Barclays

city of london
"Jo Frost's firm hand of discipline could be just the tonic for Barclays."
  • | by Kristian Dando

Bob Diamond has sensationally stepped down from his post at Barclays, amid the rate-rigging scandal which has engulfed the bank. But chief execs don’t just grow on trees, and there’s been much speculation on who exactly could fill his not-inconsiderable corporate shoes.

We’ve suggested a few candidates from left of field, and run the rule over their credentials. But who do YOU think should get the gig? Email the editor with your suggestions.

50 CENT

“Get Rich or Die Tryin’” implored Curtis Jackson on his 2003 album of the same name, which doesn’t exactly bode well considering that it was a similar philosophy which landed Barclays in this mess in the first place. But hear us out – ‘Fiddy’ has extensive experience working with Banks (Lloyd Banks, his G Unit cohort, that is) and behind the profanity and casual sexism lurks a sharp business brain – he invested in Glacau, the company which makes expensive squash Vitamin Water and made an absolute fortune when Coca Cola bought the company for $4.1billion in 2007.

HARRY REDKNAPP

Cheeky cockney Harry is out of a job after being unceremoniously dumped by former employees Tottenham Hotspur. He’s got a proven track record of taking charge of London institutions with their fortunes in the mire – when he assumed the Spurs managerial hotseat in October 2008, the team were languishing in the lower reaches of the Premier League. He also seems to be something of a progressive when it comes to banking, having opened an account for his dog.

He’d undoubtedly win the approval of the dressing room, but is his ‘arm round the shoulder’ style of management what Barclays needs to shake up it’s apparently questionable corporate culture?

‘SUPERNANNY’ JO FROST

Frost has plenty of previous in taking out-of-control brats in hand and straightening them out. The firm hand of discipline could be just the tonic for Barclays. Her ‘tough love’ approach has worked wonders with problem families, so there’s no reason that it shouldn’t work on a dysfunctional bank.

GORDON RAMSAY

Alpaha male Ramsay’s no-nonsense approach in the kitchen could translate well to the high-pressure, testosterone-driven world of finance. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly, but is Gordon’s profanity-laden managerial style really what the macho world of banking needs right now? Probably not.

TULISA OUT OF N-DUBZ

The former N-Dubz songstress and self-proclaimed ‘female boss’ knows how to pick a winner – she was instrumental in assembling last X-Factor winners Little Mix and ‘mentored’ them all the way to the final. She apparently kept bandmate Dappy on the straight and narrow when on tour with her former outfit. A tall order, and one which could stand her in good stead for the top gig at Barclays. Na-na-naiii!

MICHEAL EAVIS

Glastonbury head honcho Eavis may be a farmer and concert promoter by day, but his caring, sharing disposition and experience of managing a large entity like 'Glasto' stand him in good stead. Plus, he’s got the numbers of philanthropic pop stars like Bono out of U2 on speed dial, which is quite handy when you come to think of it.

THE VERDICT

It really has to be Supernanny. Who wouldn’t want to see brace-wearing City types severely scolded by the formidable Frost? Of course, this won’t happen and they’ll probably end up getting another bloke in a suit in. But we can but dream.

In the meantime, the best way to admonish your bank is to vote with your feet (or in this case, cash) and take your custom elsewhere. You can start your search for a new bank and compare current accounts right here.