The Money Shot – teenage kicks

angsty teenager
"Oh my god you are SO embarrassing."
"high-rolling teenagers in the West Midlands get the most pocket money per week, whilst those in the south-west are given the least"
  • | by Kristian Dando

The Money Shot remembers its own callow teenage years with a mixture of fondness and outright shame.

The fondness usually stems from thinking about those long, happy afternoons spent checking out the choicest cuts from the hit parade at our local music emporium, or the giddy thrill of finding a bumper array of torn-up gentleman’s periodicals in a hedge.

The shame? Well, pretty much everything else – not least the hot-faced embarrassment when it finally summoned up the courage to ask Rhiannon from the year above if she’d like to go for a cone of chips, only to end up coming out with a tongue-tied gabble of gibberish loosely pertaining to its thoughts on the gender politics of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

The ensuing withering jeers still feel fresh in the memory – to the extent they often return in the middle of the night as the Shot wakes up in a cold, clammy panic.

The Money Shot also remembers never having money, despite being a drain on the resources of its long-suffering Ma & Pa. The blazing rows, slammed doors and tears before bedtime that usually entailed when the subject of cash arose seem like they were only yesterday. (Maybe because they were? PS – you owe me £50. The Money Shot’s mum)

Well, according to a spot of research from National Citizen Service, it’s thought that teenagers get well over £5,000 in pocket money between the ages of 13 and 19. Hot dang! Apparently, most of the money (about 53%) is spent on ‘socialising’, something that the Shot can’t say it was too adept at when it was a whelp.

On average, high-rolling teenagers in the West Midlands get the most pocket money per week, with £15, whilst those in the south-west are given the least, pocketing only a measly £9.

Even so, 39% of parents polled reckon they don’t give their teenagers enough money to buy what they need, and wish they could give them more – and, quite unsurprisingly, teenagers agree with them.

But while the Money Shot spent most of its teenage free time holed up in its bedroom, trying to wring ever-more-ludicrous horsepower out of a Nissan Skyline GT-R on Gran Turismo, today’s teenagers seem a rather more proactive lot. The National Citizen Service reckons that 61% of the youngsters polled plan to spend the summer swelling their coffers with a summer job.

Perhaps one of the most interesting developments (to us, at any rate) was that 27% of teenagers are already ardent users of comparison websites. With the cost of young drivers’ car insurance being expensive enough to produce audible wincing, it certainly makes sense.

It’s almost as if the Money Shot has become retrospectively socially acceptable amongst its teenage peers. It’s the small victories that count.

SHORT CHANGE – MONEY NEWS IN BRIEF

The Office of Fair Trading has been slammed for its ‘ineffectual’ policing of the payday loan market.

Average UK house prices snuck up by 0.4% in May, according to Nationwide.

The financial services ombudsman is being inundated with complaints regarding ‘the banks’ not handling PPI complaints properly.

In news which will surprise precisely no-one outside of the personal injury industry, a report in the Daily Mail revealed that at least half of all whiplash claims are bogus.

AND FINALLY

We’ve spoken at some length before about stag and hen nights. And alas, they’re back on the agenda this week.

A train route which runs from Manchester to Leeds called ‘The Ale Trail’ allows beer enthusiasts to enjoy some laid-back supping at an array of charming pubs along the way. It came to widespread prominence after featuring on a telly programme a few years ago.

But boisterous stag and hen parties are said to have hijacked it, causing a nuisance for proprietors, drinkers and residents alike. One local has even reported finding a ‘reveller’ asleep in her living room.

As a result, participating pubs won’t serve lager or shots between the hours of 12 noon and 8pm. Fancy dress and large parties have also been banned, while well-meaning stag and hen crews will have to go to the trouble of ringing the pubs in advance for approval.

Jamie Lawson, of the Ossett Brewery, which owns one of the pubs on the route, grumbled: “We may take a hit on this financially but when you weigh up profits against the inconvenience we’d rather have a quiet life”.

Join us NEXT WEEK for another THRILLING instalment of THE MONEY SHOT