'I couldn’t do my car tax because I’ve taken too many Viagras'

A back of viagra pills
WARNING: Excessive Viagra consumption may cause the user to negate paying their road tax
"our digital services are designed to be used any time of day or night to fit in with people's lifestyles - so there really is no need for silly excuses" Carolyn Williams, DVLA
  • | by Kristian Dando

Paying your road tax – or ‘vehicle excise duty’ for the pedants out there – is a costly necessity.

And yes, it might be expensive (unless you drive a VED-exempt vehicle which produces as much CO2 as a house rabbit), but it does pay for the upkeep of all those congested, pothole-blighted stretches of tarmac most of us use every day. And it's a pretty easy thing to do. Unless it’s the first time you’ve taxed your car, it can be done online in about five minutes by even the most technologically inept of individuals.

Still, that doesn’t stop thousands of motorists failing to do it and subsequently wheeling out all sorts of ker-azy excuses, including one fellow who claimed he had necked so many Viagra tablets he was unable to leave the house and get to the Post Office.

Needless to say, motorists like this face stiff penalties for failing to pay their car tax on time.

Carolyn Williams, DVLA's head of digital services, said: "The vast majority of people tax their car on time but it amazes me to see the excuses people come up with. It is easier than ever before for people to tax their car and our digital services are designed to be used any time of day or night to fit in with people's lifestyles - so there really is no need for silly excuses."

Anyway, here’s a list of the most daft excuses the DVLA has heard for not paying road tax on time:

1

"My accountant told me I'm due a tax rebate so I didn't think I needed to pay again this year."

2

"I was on my way to the Post Office to tax the car and called into the betting shop - there was a horse running at Doncaster called ‘Don't Do It' so I bet on that with my car tax money instead - it lost."

3

"My mate said that if the cost of the tax is more than what the car is worth you haven't got to pay it - it's not, so I didn't."

4

"I fell out of a tree picking plums and broke both my arms."

5

"I took too much Viagra and couldn't leave the house."

6

"I'd forgotten the motorbike was in my garage - it was hidden behind the BBQ so it's not my fault."

7

"I had man flu and couldn't go to the Post Office."

8

"I've been out of the country for four months and I forgot where I parked my car."

9

"My dog ate the reminder."

10

"My reminder on my phone didn't work so it's not my fault."

So, there you have it. Do your renewal online and avoid a fine. It really is that easy. Speaking of doing automotive stuff online, did you know you can do your car insurance on the internet? Well, fancy that.