The past few days have been painful for many.
The loss of Jeremy Clarkson seemed like it would tip millions of Top Gear fans over the edge, but even Jezza's fracas couldn't compare with the earth-shattering revelation on Wednesday that Zayn Malik had officially left One Direction.
i hate myself for being so blind zayn wasnt happy anymore but he stayed in the band because of the fans zayn is too good for this world— erika loves zayn (@spacekidlwt) March 27, 2015
I LOVE ZAYN AND THE BOYS SO MUCH . I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT THEM NO MATTER WHAT. IM DONE.— we love you z (@whornystyles) March 27, 2015
how do you feel about zayn leaving? 'you seen titanic? sadder than that'— grace (@FookMashton) March 27, 2015
The 22-year-old had already left the band's world tour under a barrage of speculation and was signed off with stress before he released an official statement and crushed the hearts of millions of Directioners the world over.
We remember where we were when we heard that Geri had left the Spice Girls (a caravan in west Wales, if you're curious) so we understand the pain, but we aren't here to mourn the loss of the prettiest 1D member. Instead, we're here to pick his pockets and consider the contents of his bank account.
In 2014 the Sunday Times Rich List calculated the boys' combined earnings as £70m, with each of the lads pocketing £15m each. That gives Zayn – who's looking forward to being "normal" for a while – a lot of money to play with while he potters around the house and watches This Morning, like every other unemployed 22-year-old in the country.
How will he spend it, we wonder?
A fancy car
If we were Zayn we'd probably blow a few million on a ridiculous car to drive around his Berkshire neighbourhood. Maybe he should have a chat with a recently sacked expert to find out which…
Yes Zayn has seen more of the world than most of us ever will already, but he saw it while under the dictatorship of Simon Cowell, playing the part of a slightly moody dancing monkey. We think Zayn should buy a round-the-world ticket, get off the grid for a while and find himself. The poor wee lad skipped gap years and university after all, so he deserves a few months off to find spiritual calm in a temple in south-east Asia.
A recording studio
What better way to experiment with your artistry than by installing a recording studio in the privacy of your own home? We reckon Zayn is going to want to work with the freshest young producer when he makes his first solo cut (that's youth lingo for single) and rumours already abound that he's heading into the studio with producer Naughty Boy. This way he can keep any juicy collabs on the down low.
If all the post-1D attention gets too much for the sensitive soul he could escape to his own private island – this one in Belize looks a steal at $99,000.
News in brief
The Treasury and Gocompare.com launched a new current account comparison service called midata.
Green power generated in Norway is coming to the UK via the world's longest sub-sea electricity interconnector and will soon be powering our homes.
Identity theft is most likely to happen to a 46-year-old man, according a report from fraud prevention service Cifas. Recorded fraud was up by 25% last year compared with 2013.
On Covered Mag this week
Emily Bater meets four happy people who switched their current accounts
Get busy on two wheels with our five things to do with your motorbike this Easter
Abbie Laughton-Coles shows you the world's most popular countries from a different perspective
Join us next week for another thrilling instalment of the Money Shot. In the meantime, email us your letters
Main image: Sarah Hiscoe