The Money Shot: boy band maths

A photo of boy band One Direction
The boys in happier times...
"He deserves a few months off to find spiritual calm in a temple in south-east Asia"
  • | by Emily Bater

The past few days have been painful for many.

The loss of Jeremy Clarkson seemed like it would tip millions of Top Gear fans over the edge, but even Jezza's fracas couldn't compare with the earth-shattering revelation on Wednesday that Zayn Malik had officially left One Direction.

The 22-year-old had already left the band's world tour under a barrage of speculation and was signed off with stress before he released an official statement and crushed the hearts of millions of Directioners the world over.

We remember where we were when we heard that Geri had left the Spice Girls (a caravan in west Wales, if you're curious) so we understand the pain, but we aren't here to mourn the loss of the prettiest 1D member. Instead, we're here to pick his pockets and consider the contents of his bank account.

In 2014 the Sunday Times Rich List calculated the boys' combined earnings as £70m, with each of the lads pocketing £15m each. That gives Zayn – who's looking forward to being "normal" for a while – a lot of money to play with while he potters around the house and watches This Morning, like every other unemployed 22-year-old in the country.

How will he spend it, we wonder?

A fancy car

If we were Zayn we'd probably blow a few million on a ridiculous car to drive around his Berkshire neighbourhood. Maybe he should have a chat with a recently sacked expert to find out which…

Travelling

Yes Zayn has seen more of the world than most of us ever will already, but he saw it while under the dictatorship of Simon Cowell, playing the part of a slightly moody dancing monkey. We think Zayn should buy a round-the-world ticket, get off the grid for a while and find himself. The poor wee lad skipped gap years and university after all, so he deserves a few months off to find spiritual calm in a temple in south-east Asia.

A recording studio

What better way to experiment with your artistry than by installing a recording studio in the privacy of your own home? We reckon Zayn is going to want to work with the freshest young producer when he makes his first solo cut (that's youth lingo for single) and rumours already abound that he's heading into the studio with producer Naughty Boy. This way he can keep any juicy collabs on the down low.

An island

If all the post-1D attention gets too much for the sensitive soul he could escape to his own private island – this one in Belize looks a steal at $99,000.

What do you think Zayn should do next? Tell us on Facebook and Twitter

News in brief

The Treasury and Gocompare.com launched a new current account comparison service called midata.

Green power generated in Norway is coming to the UK via the world's longest sub-sea electricity interconnector and will soon be powering our homes.

Identity theft is most likely to happen to a 46-year-old man, according a report from fraud prevention service Cifas. Recorded fraud was up by 25% last year compared with 2013.

On Covered Mag this week

Emily Bater meets four happy people who switched their current accounts

Get busy on two wheels with our five things to do with your motorbike this Easter

Abbie Laughton-Coles shows you the world's most popular countries from a different perspective

Join us next week for another thrilling instalment of the Money Shot. In the meantime, email us your letters

Main image: Sarah Hiscoe