Potty-mouth, cussing, blaspheming… whatever you call swearing it's best to keep it schtum in SW19 if you don't fancy being fined for the privilege.
They're operating a pretty lucrative swear jar at Wimbledon this year and it seems the players just can't contain their colourful outbursts, turning the air blue with choice language. But with fines of up to £12,500 for audible obscenities , that's some expensive effing and jeffing.
Main culprit, Nick Kyrgios of Australia, racked up a rather obscene £6,155 before getting knocked out in the fourth round this year. Over a grand of it was for dropping expletives and the rest for having a very manly tantrum (or 'mantrum' as we're coining it) and chucking his racket on the ground. He also risked a further fine of over £12,800 for 'not trying' in a match against Richard Gasquet, but was let off the hook.
Players who got off a little more lightly include Serena Williams and Liam Broady who escaped with a mere code violation, or a 'telling off' to you and me.
It's not just swearing that can lead to tennis stars being slapped with fines though. Novak Djokovic had a lucky escape after being caught receiving on-court coaching from cupboard-enjoying lothario, Boris Becker, which is strictly prohibited.
Becker told the BBC: "There are moments when he looks up and he needs reassurance that what he is doing is right. And then we have our ways about it to tell him it's good or tell him it's bad. And then it's up to him to change it." Here's a hint: if you're winning you're doing good, if you're losing… not so much.
News in brief
Cheese rolling could soon become an official event in Gloucester once again, with organisers working on ways to make the injury-inducing extravaganza safer.
Quick, someone crack open the window! Facebook is building a new data centre in Texas that will be powered entirely by wind.
Mortgagees rejoice! Savers despair! Interest rates remain at a record low of 0.5%.
From today, hikers will be able to enjoy wi-fi atop Mount Fuji. Perfect for posting your #blessed selfies.
Covered mag letters
I read with some interest in last week’s Money Shot heatwave special that paddling pool sales increased by 600% during the period of warm weather we're enjoying. I was among the number buying them – after an impromptu trip to a local retailer, I procured a deluxe paddling pool which I proceeded to fill with bracing, icy-cold water.
I slipped into my Speedos and eased myself in, proceeding to let the cool aqua lap at my thighs. With nothing but the Best of the Gypsy Kings and a cold flagon of Tizer for company, I could almost imagine that I was in the Costa del Sol.
Imagine my disappointment then, when this idyllic scene was cruely interrupted by the human resources jobsworths at my workplace. Apparently, a fellow colleague had chanced upon my innocent summer relaxation in the car park and had somehow been 'offended'.
You wouldn't get this sort of thing in Europe.
J Rigid, Leamington Spa
On Covered mag this week
Grab a life jacket and ride the Grand Canyon rapids with Sean Davies.
We take a look at some bold financial ideas that could revolutionise the economy.
Read the latest edition of the guide to Britain, where Dan Bevis trundles to the South Downs in a VW campervan.
Join us next week for another mind-altering edition of the Money Shot. Until then, send us your letters.