Can you hear that?
The laboured huffing and puffing of a million doughy bodies, bloated by Christmas excess, waddling around the park in ill-fitting sports gear?
The mechanical whirr of countless superfood smoothies being blitzed into oblivion?
The sanctimonious whinnying of scores of individuals telling their colleagues exactly why they’re keeping off the sauce this month at great length?
Yes readers, it must be January, which means that the nation is on one big well-meaning but (in most cases) ultimately doomed health kick.
You’ve probably noticed by now plenty of colleagues proudly wearing a shiny new bit of ‘tech’ on their wrists which looks a bit like a watch. Well, it’s called a fitness tracker, and it records how much you move and various other biometric data – heart rate, all that sort of stuff.
It turns out that the life insurance industry is cottoning on to the benefits of these gizmos.
For instance, Vitality Health is offering policyholders with Fitbits and similar trackers who complete a certain amount of steps every month some special ‘Brucey bonuses’ like free Starbucks, cut-price gym membership and discounts on their policy. If that’s not reason enough to stick to your new year’s resolution to get buff, we don’t know what is.
Of course, this sort of thing is bound to inflame the same sort of ‘Orwellian nightmare’ debates that telematics car insurance did. And perhaps the naysayers are on to something – there is something slightly creepy about your insurance company knowing so much about how your body works.
Anyway, tell us what you think on Twitter and Facebook. If you need any ‘fitspiration’, then you could do a lot worse than perusing the gut-busting best entries from our #Gocofitfam competition from last year.
News in brief
Aviva has poured cold water on a £250,000, 46-person whiplash claim from a so-called ‘party bus’ in Crewe.
Millions of fingers are crossed for a 13-week Lottery rollover this weekend.
George Osborne, presumably wearing his best cabana boy outfit, gave a grave warning of a “cocktail of threats” haunting the world’s economy. The ingredients? A shot of stock market turmoil in China. A measure of recession in Brazil and China. Top up with collapsing commodity prices and a spritz of an emerging markets bubble, shake vigorously and serve with a glace cherry.
Money Shot letters
Speaking as a long-time reader of the Money Shot, I was aghast at 2015’s final edition which further stoked up the hype surrounding those infantile Star Wars films.
As if the juvenile adventures of Kirk, Spock and the other crew of the Starship Enterprise needs further promotion!
Consider yourself a reader down – you’ll be hearing from my solicitors in due course.
Rear Admiral Montgomery Shaftsworth, Kent
Join us next week for another PB-smashing edition of the Money Shot. Until then, send us your letters