Six things your mum does on the internet

Image of a mum on the internet
Little did Derek know, Shirley was a big hit on Christian Mingle
"Candy Crush is the class A drug of the modern mum"
  • | by Abbie Laughton-Coles

A notification pops up on your phone  - who could this be you wonder?

How delightful - a friend request. Who wants to become your online pal? Perhaps it's someone important from work or that dishy barista you chatted to over a pastry at the coffee shop.

You scurry to swipe your lock screen away so you can gaze upon your new friend's visage.

Alas! A picture of your mum circa 2004 (when she had 'good hair'), drinking prosecco in Alicante pops up.

You couldn't possibly ignore your mum… could you?

From having a million tabs open on Internet Explorer at any given time to forgoing Facebook etiquette, mums are notorious on the internet for their 'mumisms' (may not be a word yet, but it should be).

Here are a few favourites to celebrate mother's day. Long live mums on the internet!

Liking every post

Image of a woman and daughter giving the thumbs up

No matter what you post on Facebook, your mum will like it.

Even if you uploaded a picture of a steaming dog turd, your mum would still give it a cheeky thumbs up and quip, "You've always been so creative."

It's basically the grown-up equivalent of when she cried with joy at your tone-deaf carol recital in primary school.

They'll also comment on every photo you're tagged in, so your friends will be able to see what a "cute little pumpkin" your mum thinks you are.

Not quite the edgy persona you were going for, right?

Wine o'clock

Image of a woman looking jolly with wine

You know those magnets your mum has on her fridge proclaiming "I always cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food", or "It's five o'clock somewhere" with a picture of a Martini glass next to it?

Well, social media has given mothers everywhere a digital outlet for their witticisms, delivering lol-worthy (debateable) memes on the regular, eliciting a landslide of hearts and crying laughing emojis from her mum friends - including Beverley the hairdresser (there's always a Beverley).

They'll then go on to share the meme with their friends and so the circle of mumisms continues perpetually, until the end of time.

Overuse of 'feelings'

Image of a woman with cake

Have you ever wondered who uses the 'feeling' function on Facebook?

It's your mum and she's 'feeling blessed' the majority of the time.

Whether it's for her perfect family or the last slice of cake at the bakery, it will all be attributed to a higher being who must be praised via social media.

'Funny' email overload

Image of a woman drinking tea and smiling at laptop

The original funny emails were used to relieve the boredom of office work, providing a welcome distraction from the corporate machine employees were shackled to.

Slowly with the introduction of instant messaging and social media this died out, but there's no need to mourn as mums everywhere have kept the candle burning bright.

Periodically popping into your inbox (usually accompanied by a text to let you know they've sent you an email) is a message with the subject line '21 cats that are having a worse day than you' or '20 people who didn't park so good'.

Due to the avalanche of images contained within this email, it will take an age to download and you'll be lucky if they cause you to break a smile.

Do you want to play Candy Crush?

Image of a woman reclining on a sofa with tablet

No we don't, so stop sending us invitations.

Candy Crush is the class A drug of the modern mum. Once they've used up their five lives, they'll scrabble around to find their next hit.

This means sending out a mass invitation to all their friends on Facebook to claw back a couple of extra goes on the app.

Don't give in and facilitate their addiction and be prepared for the onslaught of online game requests heading your way.

Scams. Scams everywhere

Image of a woman looking shocked at her phone

Mums have an obsession with scams.

Maybe it was the abundance of 'Rogue Traders' style television shows popping up on our screens in the past decade, but stopping their young from getting swindled is a full-time occupation.

You'll be bombarded with the newest dubious scams on Facebook, this could be anything from ferrets being sold as poodles (this actually happened), or criminals using dolls to ensnare drivers into stopping at the side of the road.

These scams will become more and more ridiculous but it's best to just nod and say that you promise to watch out for weasel-featured poodles and roadside Chucky dolls.

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Have you got any favourite online mum moments? Let us know on Twitter or Facebook